I know we say things like just a bad dream, like a nightmare, surreal and unreal often to describe things that are “big deals.” Bombing a class, PCSing somewhere far away, deployments. We feel for people going through tragedies, we put ourselves in their shoes. We watch shows like Army Wives and think Oh my God, how terrible. What if that were me? We think about infantry families where loss is common and say “Oh I could never do that.” But what do you do when you suddenly wake up and the fiction or nightmares are your life? What do you do after you hear there’s a helicopter crash and we don’t know how bad? Then what do you do when you learn your friend’s husband isn’t coming home form a routine night at work? When people start refering to her as “the widow.” She’s not the widow, she’s his wife, she’s your friend, she’s the person you spent 7 months with waiting for everyone to come home? She’s the one that yells at your because your child has a bottle at 1 and a half or a pacifier at almost 2. And what do you say to her and what do you do when you see her? How are you there for someone whose life has crumbled around them?
Tuesday night, Monday morning many of us woke up only to realize that our bad dream was now life. A helicopter had crashed and someone was dead. You read and re-read the news headlines and Facebook statuses. You get sad, you get angry, you question God and you just want to know why? I can’t even express the feelings that our Red Lion family, near and far, are feeling right now. And that’s what we are, a family. Disfunctional and mad at each other, a tad bit quirky at times but isn’t every family? Being so so far from our families out here we really do lean on each other even on the smallest level. We don’t have Christmas dinner at Grandma’s we have it at friends’ with our squadron family. In fact, we have every single holiday and personal event we can think of since we moved here with them. Daddys and husbands miss birthdays, anniversaries and college graduations here but there’s always another wife in attendance to make the cake, cheer you on or wish you the best. I know that every single person in this squadron is affected on some level by this nightmare. I think so many of us are still waiting to wake up. How do you process that your one friend who lost her husband could have been any of you? That the job is so interchangeable anyone could have been on the flight or any flight like it?
I guess what I’m trying to figure out is what do you do when that feeling of false safety is shattered around you? We go through deployments and we know there is a chance everyone may not come home. But everyone does and we lull ourselves into thinking they are safe, their jobs really are just fine. So how do you accept and deal with losing someone that made it home from Afghanistan only to be lost on your average workday here at home? Then add to that your squadron family, your Ohana, is currently spread everywhere from South Korea to Arizona, dealing with this at home alone or at a foreign bar.
I know this post is full of questions and rambling but this is my therapy. My processing how to be a good friend. My how do I accept my husband going back to flying after something like this? My why do such terrible things happen to good people? To young people? To people with their whole lives and the world ahead of them? How do we accept God’s will and trust that everything has a plan and a purpose when things like this are allowed to happen? How do we expect the world to shows us wonderful things?
As I wrap this up, please tell those around you that you love them, that they have an infectious charm or that your mom thinks their eyes are “Just something else.” Put yourself out there, go the extra mile to form bonds with people, spend every second you can getting to know them. Take time for yourself, for your family, appreciate life.
The one thing I do not question is that Cpl Jon Faircloth knows how much Alicia loves him and that he will truly be missed. Live your life so that whenever that day comes, someone can say that about you.
I ask you now to please pray for the wife and family of the Red Lion we have lost, our 3 Marines looking at a long and hard road to recovery and their families, and every single Marine, Sailor and family member of this squadron whether they are here or afar.
I am proud to call myself of member of the Lucky Red Lion Family.
Picked up some donuts from Ted’s Bakery…must go back for a tshirt (I say that every time haha).
Keeping it brief. Off to have an Irish beer, or two and watch some OTH!
